Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Self seeking is natural. Birth is all a person needs to live a life seeking their own good or their own perceived good. Sometimes what one person thinks is good for them is actually harmful but that is another subject. The point is that people by their nature are self seeking. "Each of us has turned to his own way." Isaiah 53:6. So this aspect of love, if it is ever going to be found in us must have roots in someone else. To reach this place in love, we must die to self.

This is not the only place Paul writes about selflessness, in fact this idea is found through out the New Testament and the Old Testament from Genesis, where Noah sacrifices a life time to build a boat on dry land  to Revelation where the saints are victorious because they "did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death".  Love is not self-seeking, what does that mean? Are we supposed to become the refuse and off scouring of the world? Are we supposed to be despised and hated? Are we supposed to be persecuted and suffer unjustly? Well, frankly, yes. Jesus assured us all of those things would happen. He warned us so we would not be surprised and we would not be fooled by mere men who falsely speculate that godliness is a means to gain.

A picture of victory over "self-seeking" is found in 1 Corinthians 9:19-23. Here Paul writes about how he poured himself out for the gospel. "Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible." The KJV says it nicely, " that by all means I might win some". And that is the point, winning some. No one wins them all, not Jesus and not Paul, but we have to try to win as many possible. The secret to this is dying to ourselves, "though I am free... I make my self a slave."  Rather than insist that he was free, and fight for his rights, Paul chose slavery - he chose to lay aside his own rights so that he could win some people. "To the Jews I became like a Jew, " remember Paul shaving his head in Jerusalem? (Acts 21:24-26) It was not because Paul had to do it, it was that he wanted to do it so that the Jews would not be offended. " He continues in verse 21 "To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law....) Paul was at times apparently working "under cover" - to win some. "To the weak I became weak... ", now we say wait a minute this is sounding like compromise. No, it is selflessness. Paul had an incredible ability to read people. He used his knowledge of people to win some to Christ. If people stumbled over the message of the cross that was because they were lost, but as far a Paul was concerned he himself did not give them any other reason to reject the gospel. "I have become all things to all men that by all possible means I might save some".The most difficult thing in life to do is become all things to all men, the purist scream at you "COMPROMISE"; the liberals scream at you, "Phony!"; Lincoln has been quoted as saying ,"if you try and please everyone no one will like it." That is not exactly true, some will like it. Some can be won over, may be not all, may be not enough to win an election, but enough to honor God. Love is not self-seeking, forget who you are, abandon yourself to God with outstretched arms, eyes wide open and be thrilled winning some. We don't have to win them all. We can't anyway. It is alright if most people reject you, just don't let the reason be you.